Flash without the Wank

The information on this page was originally published when Pure Slush was first established in December 2010.

The original tagline for Pure Slush was “flash without the wank” … referring to flash fiction.

 

Slush fund: a secret fund of money skimmed from an otherwise legal source, saved or kept for usually illegal or not quite legal purposes.

Slush pile: a stack or collection of unsolicited manuscripts sent to a publisher by writers or agents.

Slush: dirty snow and ice, a mixture of dirty snow and water.

 

Pure + Slush =

good + bad / calm + hysterical / clean + dirty / classy + trashy

 

 

Wank is a verb and a noun, and is slang / informal for to masturbate or masturbation, usually for males. “I was so embarrassed, my mother walked in and caught me wanking;” “I had a wank last night.” This can also be performed on a man by a sexual partner: “He / she wanked me off.”

Also: “to wank on” means to talk a lot of rubbish, to have ‘verbal diarrohea’, to enjoy the sound of your own voice to the detriment of others, to ‘rave on’ nonsensically. “He was just wanking on and boring the pants off us;” “Gee, he talks a lot of wank!”

This can also apply to writing. ”His paper was a load of wank.” “He wanked on so much in his last book; page after page of utter wank.”

Wanker: someone (usually a man) who masturbates.

Also: someone who talks verbal diarrohea or a lot of rubbish, someone who uses complicated language unnecessarily; an idiot; an annoying person, usually a man. “He’s a pretentious wanker!” Perhaps the worst insult is, “He’s a wine wanker!” meaning, he talks a lot about wine which excludes others present, and probably does so on purpose, making himself feel superior, as well as turning the tasting of it into a performance. Also, it can mean the exact opposite re knowledge: “He’s such a wanker, he doesn’t know anything.” And a wanker can also be both: “He thinks he knows it all but he really knows nothing: what a wanker!”

Wanky: an adjective, meaning pretentious, full-of-importance, pompous, too fussy, not down to earth enough, overblown. “That film we saw last night was really wanky.”

Wankily: an adverb, is stretching it! You would say instead, “He did that in a really wanky way,” using an adjective rather than an adverb. Wankily doesn’t sound wanky: it just sounds odd.

Wankfest: a noun, has two meanings: a group of men (or boys) have (or had) a mutual masturbation session: “We had a real wankfest: cum everywhere.” Or more commonly, a group of pretentious, arty, pompous people got together and wanked on for a long time and bored everyone else stupid. “What a pointless wankfest that discussion panel was. They just loved the sound of their own voices but no one really said anything.”

Wank, wanking and wanker are terms used in Australia, Britain and New Zealand. And anywhere else? Please email this site at edpureslush@live.com.au to let us know.

Al McDermid (who was living in Japan when Pure Slush was first established) wrote “I’m from the US and use ‘wanker’, as in ‘what a wanker!’ all the time. I may have picked it up from British or Aussie friends, though I’ve been using it for a long time, so I’m not sure. My favorite usage is ‘wank stain’ (for those guys simply beyond ‘wanker’).”

(Toss, tossing and tosser are used in the same ways, though are more British. Jerk (or jack) off, jerking (and jacking) off and jerk are also used similarly, though more in North America.)

 

Two proverbs made up Tuesday 7th December 2010:

One man’s wank is another man’s wisdom, and Wank is in the hand of the beholder.